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Spring break dissected
By R.C. Weich III
You will also notice that for some odd reason, despite the 40-degree weather, these girls feel that they must show as much skin as possible.
Ah, the fallout of spring break. It’s when every college student is able to discuss and brag about wild, ridiculously overpriced one-week adventures.
Walking through the halls of the Union, one can’t help but notice students who traveled on spring break and those who did not.
Here’s how you can tell.
First, for women, you will see a surprisingly orange glow to their faces and bodies received from overuse of tanning salons before and after spring break.
You will also notice that for some odd reason, despite the 40-degree weather, these girls feel that they must show as much skin as possible. Suddenly, the short frilly shirts are adorned and the ensuing goose bumps appear.
And what is the deal with those huge sunglasses that take up half of a face? I mean sure Mary-Kate Olson wears them, but they don’t look good on her and they sure don’t look good on you.
Sunglasses are meant to shade the sun from one’s eyes, not become a full shield ala police riot gear. Plus, why wear these glasses? They will only hide your fake-baked, overly made-up face.
In the guys, you will see the muscle shirts come out. They are also proud of their newly tanned body and their oh-so-washboard abs and huge pythons perfectly golden from lying out on the beach.
OK, so the image is one that is rather annoying, but how about the behavior of these students when they are on break? Most spring breakers who decide to travel to Mexico, Florida or the Caribbean are under the age of 21, but since they are on spring break it suddenly becomes legal to drink! This causes a mini-revolution.
This revolution includes drinking, staying out until dawn and, worst of all, sexual behavior that many burlesque houses would be humiliated to hear about.
Yet instead of being ashamed of their behavior, spring breakers wish to show it off via their online pictures and the stories they tell peers. It’s terrible, you can’t even walk to and from class without hearing someone say, “Yeah, I (expletive) him in Cancun.”
In a survey released by the American Medical Association last week, about 40 percent of the women surveyed said that they regretted passing out or not remembering what they did due to drinking.
Even more astonishing, 13 percent of the 27 percent surveyed who went on spring break said that they had sex with more than one partner. So spring break is about random, drunken hookups between scantily dressed girls and overly muscular guys, who prey on these girls. What a great concept.
Here’s an idea: rather than spending Daddy’s money on spring break, save all your money from flipping burgers or bagging groceries and buy your own Caribbean Island and host your own spring breaks — it’s a lot cheaper in the end.
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