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Here comes the bride
Many young college students decide to tie-the-knot
By Rose Davis
Cosmopolitan magazine did a survey in 2004 and found that one out of three students on a large college campus would be able to name at least one young couple they knew that were planning to marry.
In recent years, it seems that more people are getting married at a young age. According to 2005 United States census, the average age for a first marriage for women is 26. However, “Cosmopolitan” magazine did a survey in 2004 and found that one out of three students on a large college campus would be able to name at least one young couple they knew that were planning to marry.
Personally, I have two friends who have gotten married in the past four months, both of whom have yet to reach the legal drinking age.
Adriane Bartsch-Klingbeil, a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, got married this past August. She and her husband Tom started dating in high school when she was 16 and he was 17. They got engaged when she was 17 and waited two years before tying the knot.
“We talked about waiting until next summer,” Bartsch-Klingbeil told me when I asked why they decided to marry now instead of later, “I wanted to get through one year of college and he wanted to finish tech school. He finished in the spring and is working and can afford an apartment, so we decided to do it. We just didn’t want to wait anymore.”
People had a mixed reaction to the couple’s engagement. “His parents have five older kids, all already married, so it was just another one for them. My parents almost fell over,” Bartsch-Klingbeil says with a smile.
She also says that her close friends were really excited and happy; it was the people who didn’t know her who had a more negative reaction.
This trend of marrying young also appeared back in the 1940s around the time of World War Two. It wasn’t uncommon for people to marry their high school sweethearts, and many war veterans were looking to settle down and start a family upon their return home. Bartsch-Klingbeil’s father is a pastor and when he told the older members of the church their reaction was a supportive one.
“Now, marrying young is seen as unacceptable because it’s not the norm, but in the past it was just what people did,” Bartsch-Klingbeil said, “The older members (of my church) were OK with it because they were my age when they got married.”
It’s very possible that this trend is reappearing with the current war in Iraq. Young men and women in their late teens and early twenties are going overseas and when they return they often feel that starting a family is the next step. We may very well be repeating what our grandparent’s generation did.
Unfortunately, the facts show that couples who marry young are at the highest risk for divorce. Throughout college you are still maturing and growing as a person and when you put marriage into that mix, things don’t always work out. You have to be ready to make sacrifices and stop thinking about only yourself and start thinking in terms of what is best for both of you.
This is not to say that it can’t work. Bartsch-Klingbeil has some advice for other young couples considering marriage.
“Go through premarital counseling with an older adult or pastor. It was really helpful for us. It introduces issues that you will have to deal with, like money and children. Also, really think twice about it, it depends on the situation and if you’re ready for it.”
Marrying at a young age doesn’t necessarily set you up for failure. Marriage is a big step in a person’s life and not a decision to take lightly. If you think you’re ready, really make sure because you don’t want to end up regretting it.
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