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This ain’t just any midnight meat train, kids. This is THE midnight meat train.

This is how the summer ends: not with a bang, but with a whimper. By the time the eighth month of the year roles around, most of us will be all blockbustered out.

Luckily, the month is shaping up to be entertaining for two reasons. First off, there are a few flicks that look to be so bad, that they could be thoroughly entertaining. Secondly, there are two comedies that, if their previews are any indication, should leave audiences in stitches.

August 1- “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”
Level of Disappointment: Five out of five sarcophagi.
The Good: Rachel Weisz, the most beautiful woman on the planet, has finally realized that she is far too good of an actress to star in this series.
The Bad: The title sounds like the name of a Goosebumps book.
The Ugly: Early reviews are saying that the movie is worse than “The Scorpion King.” Yikes…

August 1- “The Midnight Meat Train”
Level of Disappointment: Have late night meat trains ever yielded disappointment?
This ain’t just any midnight meat train, kids. This is THE midnight meat train. Although some (i.e. me) may have initially assumed that this was a skin flick, you’ll be happy/unhappy to learn that it’s just your run of the mill violent horror flick. However, you might want to buy a ticket just so you can frame the stub and put it on your mantelpiece.

August 8- “Pineapple Express”
Level of Disappointment: No need to panic.
When one thinks of a Judd Apatow produced stoner comedy, David Gordon Green isn’t the first person that comes to mind in terms of a director. The visual genius who filmed indie hits like “George Washington” and “All the Real Girls,” does not seem to fit with the stoner mentality of Seth Rogan and James Franco, but the redband trailer (complete with great music by M.I.A.) makes this one look like a winner.

August 15- “Tropic Thunder”
Level of Disappointment: Robert Downey Jr. doesn’t disappoint.
Speaking of redband, “Tropic Thunder” is another addiction to the long list of movies that have garnered hype based on an uncensored trailer. A fictional take on the real madness that occurred during the filming of “Apocalypse Now” is a great premise for a no holds barred comedy, and the cast is looking quite stellar. Add in the fact that Robert Downey Jr. dons black face in a role that many are calling Peter Sellers-esque, and you’ve got yourself what might be the comedy of the summer.

That about does it. Although August isn’t looking as good as May, it still has a few reasons for you to throw down your hard earned green. Sprinkle in a handful of low-profile films that are sure to blow up throughout the season, and you’ve got yourself a summer that looks to cinematically trump the previous decade’s dog-days.

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