After a breakdown that led me right into the psych ward before the holidays and a diagnosis of Bipolar Depression and Borderline Personality tendencies, the question that came into mine and my family’s minds was: Should I return to school?
I remember sitting in my stepdad’s apartment with my family to discuss the matter. I told me that they would like to see me take the spring semester off in order to focus on receiving the treatment I needed. Of course, I was scared and sad to make a decision like this, but I knew it was for the best. I decided to take the spring semester off. I have to say it was the best decision I have ever made.
Taking the time to focus on myself and take care of me has taught me so much about myself. I have become more in tuned with how I feel and what I want to do. For the longest time, I let my moods take control and run my life. I was doing too much of everything that one individual should never find capable of doing and next thing I would be sick of it all, spiraling down into a hole of despair. I had no balance in my life and I felt agitated with my whole major because I wasn’t sure if I wanted it or not.
Now with the help of wonderful professionals and medications I have taken the time to think about different questions. What do I want to get out of my education and my life? What does the future look like for me? The more I began to ask these questions the more I realized I was doing everything wrong. I was doing everything that made me unhappy. I thought closely about what it was that I truly wanted and I realized that my future goals were to go back to school in the summer and take things slow. The key word here: Slow.
I believe that most college kids tend to move too fast. Too fast that we forget to enjoy ourselves and cherish the present moment that we are in. We get so worried to reach the end goal that we forget why we are even doing what we are doing. Now if you are a college student who doesn’t feel this way than I am glad to let you know you are doing things right. But still, listen and take this as a reminder for anything that you do in life. It’s ok to take your time. It’s ok to take the semester off and rethink what you are doing. What’s the shame?
If you ever feel that you need to slow down and take a reality check, I say do it. It will teach you valuable lessons that will benefit your future. There is no rush in life and never should be taken that way. Taking the time to think about what you want in life brings true success. Take your education as pushing yourself while taking baby steps. Pushing yourself, but not to fall down.
I know from my experience, I feel like a whole new person. It wasn’t an easy choice to make and I do find myself feeling like I miss out on what my friends are doing, but in the end, it works out. I will be coming back to UWM soon enough starting out as if it’s my first day all over again.