You read that right. I met my husband through an online dating site. I knew the dangers and the consequences that online dating could present. I had to weed my way through and have heard of my share of horror stories. I guess I just ended up somehow being one of the lucky ones. Believe me, it’s one journey that I’ll never forget.
First let me tell what lead me up to making an online dating profile. I had been seeing this guy who emotionally abused me for three years. We dated for about five months of those three years before he broke up with me because another girl was interested in him. For some stupid reason, I still remained friends with him. Every time that I met someone, he would suddenly come up to me with “I still love you and I want to be with you.” Yet when I suggested that we get back together, he didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had. I was never allowed to get over him because he would come flirting with me, opening the wounds that were closed and ruining the relationships that I was trying to form.
Finally, I decided enough was enough. The men that my friends were setting me up with never amounted to anything and I was never one to go out partying or to the bars. The guy friends I had were just that, guy friends. I never was interested in them any other way than friends. Besides, most of them had girlfriends or where gay. I was interested in one person, and that one person said he ‘loved’ me, but didn’t want to act upon it. I let him go and followed the advice of a few of my close girlfriends; I joined an online dating site.
I really didn’t want to pay for a dating site because I didn’t have a lot of money. I had a car to pay for and gas to run it. I also didn’t want to spend all that money on a dating site and it not work out. My friends suggested OKCupid (OKC), so I joined. I noticed right away that it was exactly like those pay sites. I still had to take a few questionnaires so they could match me up to people. I still had to message people or wait for people to message me. It was the same, just free.
I believe I was on OKC for two months before I met Zach. I had many men tell me they weren’t interested or all they really wanted were sexual relationships. I had looked at Zach’s profile a few times and he viewed mine a couple of times before he finally messaged me. His first message said, “Are you from Michigan?” I’m a Wisconsinite born and raised, but he thought that since I was a Red Wings hockey team fan, I had to be connected to Michigan. Nope. I got into them because my best friend liked them and she introduced me to hockey with them. That just started our relationship.
We messaged each other through OKC for about a week or so until we exchanged phone numbers and Skype screen names. Soon we were texting each other back and forth and talking through Skype nightly. We constantly killed each other’s phones talking about anything and nothing at the same time. I had to set a guideline for when he’d go to bed because we would talk until two in the morning sometimes and I had found out that he went to work at seven. I could feel myself falling for this man and I hadn’t even heard his voice yet.
I had been talking to a few men on the site, but now that made me feel the way I did when I saw Zach’s name on my text messages. I was at my friend’s house for a girl’s night. We were talking about my ex and about Zach when Zach texted me. He had asked how I was doing and what was up because he hadn’t heard from me all day. I told him and he felt horrible for bothering me during my ‘girl time.’ My friend and I had laughed at this and I told him it was okay. We were waiting on pizza anyway. That’s when he asked me out and of course I said yes.
Heart pounding and a cold sweat forming, I drove to our meeting place the next day, which just happened to be April Fool’s Day. We met for lunch at a Ninja Hibachi in West Bend. It was the only interesting place I could think of in such short notice and I’ve enjoyed myself there before. I pulled in and texted that I was there. He walked up to my truck and knocked on the window. I got out and said something like, “Not going to lie, I’m super nervous.” He gave me a big hug and said there was nothing to be afraid about. I think our hibachi chef was a little annoyed because Zach and I just couldn’t stop talking to each other.
After lunch, we went to a local park and I showed him around the trails that went along the river. It was one of my favorite places in West Bend, so I really didn’t know where else to take him. We shared our first kiss there which to this day still gives me butterflies. It was starting to get chilly, but we still didn’t want the date to end yet. We drove separately to Mayfair Mall and walked around talking some more. Then we went to see John Carter at the theater there, but I can honestly say I don’t remember I single thing about that movie. I was too caught up in Zach’s kisses. The rest is history.
Two years later, he asked me to marry him on top of (‘our’) Kennesaw Mountain in Georgia and then a year later we got married. We’ll be going on five years this coming April. I can’t believe that we’ll be married for three years in July. It hasn’t been no cake walk and we’ve had our share of fights, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. He has made so many dreams come true. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t fall more and more in love with him. The best day of my life was when I became Mrs. Alyssa Stire. I look forward to where and what the future brings us.