UWM Post’s Halloween Series: 9 Low-Key Outfits to Wear to School or Work on Monday

This is for all the people out there who love to be in the spirit of things, but aren’t as good in the whole, you know “standing out in a crowd and having people look at you” type thing. If that happens to be the case at hand, here are 9 “inconspicuous” Halloween costumes to wear to school and not feel totally stupid.

Frat Boy

This is an easy one, especially if you’re known to possess the opposite style of a typical “frat guy”.  So pretty simple, right? Throw on some Foakley’s (fake oakleys), some Sperry shoes and make sure to either tie them in a bow or a boat knot. Listen though, there is more to a member of a fraternity than their shoes and sunglasses…I forgot the shorts. The shorter the better. Honestly, use bright colors. Colors like coral, light blue, yellow, white, etc will be sure to show your “fratty” side. The shorts should reflect the colors that would be easily stained from eating one of those fun sized bags of Doritos. Lastly, some type of shirt; preferably a polo or something with a name brand displayed on the front or back of the shirt, (Ralph Lauren, Vineyard Vines, etc). Finally, add the finishing touches like a hat, tube socks or the fresh aroma of beer lingering on your lips. Happy fratting! Disclaimer: I love frat boys and I am not intentionally trying to bash or stereotype Fraternities and/or the members. Frat guys are hot.   

Morton Salt Girl

This is honestly the cutest thing. If you’re not into gory, sexy or die-hard fan costumes, the Morton Salt Girl is perfect. The costume will definitely be unique and I’m pretty positive that no one will match it! Now this little girl’s getup is actually super easy to do. All you need is a long (or short) sleeve yellow short hem dress. Preferably one with a skirt that flows out, so try to avoid anything too tight because the character is a little girl. If you want to put a sexy spin on it then be my guest, but just find anything that you will feel comfortable in. Along with the cute yellow dress, pair up some white stockings and some type of Maryjane shoes. If you are able to find yellow Maryjane’s, then God bless you. Most likely black versions are the ones found in stores. After you have your shoes, dress and stockings, grab an umbrella and skip out the door! Bonus points if you carry around a Morton Salt container.

Tina Belcher

Oh Tina. Lovely, Tina Belcher. From being a fan favorite, 13-year-old hormonal teenager brought to you by the TV comedy Bob’s Burgers. This relatable character is voiced by a grown man, which makes her character even more comedic. Before one is able to dress as Tina Belcher, you must do her justice. First of all, Tina like horses, zombies and boys. Her personal fascination with her neighbor Jimmy Junior occupy majority of her mind, especially when she lays eyes on Jimmy Jr.’s butt. Her awkwardness and brutal honesty embodies the hidden behavior of the teenage population. Now, Tina has a very simplistic wardrobe; this costume is perfect because you will appear to be wearing normal clothes. A simple light blue shirt and an above the knee jean skirt will do. Pair that with some white tube socks and black converse; then finish your look off with a thick pair of glasses and a yellow barrette. Seems like a pretty “normal” school outfit but keep an eye out for the people that appreciate your inconspicuous Tina Belcher. Now go “let the charm bomb explode.”-Tina Belcher

God’s gift to women/men

Easy as pie. Wear any clothes you desire and then slap on one of those gift tags to your shirt. Fill out the “To:” with your preferred sexual orientation (e.g. men, women, etc.) and the “From:” tag signed, God. BOOM GENIUS!  Pictured: Jerry Vartanian, UWM class of 2019

Jake from State Farm

Simple, khakis. Well, maybe add a red polo and if you really want to spice things up a bit, throw in a name tag. That’ll show them! Go get ‘em, Jake from State Farm!

Wednesday Adams

Well to put this as short as possible: black dress, pigtail braids, white tights and lots of anger/sadness. You’re welcome!

Shaggy (Scooby-Doo)

I mean besides the underlying message that Shaggy is a complete stoner, he is easy to dress as! I mean what more could you ask for? Long green tee shirt, throw on some brown pants and tussle your hair a bit. And, remember to… LIKE, have a great Halloween.

Mean Girls Themes

So you don’t want to go out for Halloween because you don’t have anything to wear? The old excuse of “oh I’m sick *cough *cough” keeps you from going on with your best buds. Really quick, raise your hand if you have felt personally victimized by Halloween! You’ve tried dressing as your favorite celebrities like Beyoncé, Rihanna, Obama, Drake and even OPRAH! But all anyone can say about your costume is, “if you’re supposed to be (insert said celebrity here), why are you white?” Ok, people probably don’t say that… but I wanted to get another Mean Girls quote in there. Besides going for the overly obvious “I’m a mouse, duh” costume, here are some for the inner fan in you.

A personal favorite would be the “She Doesn’t Even Go Here!” costume

Simply wear a light blue hooded sweat shirt with those little strings. Pull the hood on and tighten those strings, then tie them together. Lastly just slip on some shades and throw in a fugly sign. Congrats, now you can bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles!

I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool Mom = Mrs. George

You need a lot of things to throw a good party, you know, “some snacks, a condom” (just kidding, don’t have sex, ‘cause you will get pregnant…and die.) and of course not a regular costume, a cool costume. Dress like Regina George’s mom, rock a pink sweat suit and carry around your camcorder because you might film something GROOL. So don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang. Trust me, you will look so fetch!

 

I hope these helped you for the upcoming Halloween Monday. All I know, is that I will for sure be wearing one of these to school on Halloween. Have fun and stay safe!