You don’t usually see many full-length feature films come out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. That’s why the Cream City Cinema Film Series was such a special part of this year’s Milwaukee Film Festival. I decided to go see “Serial Daters Anonymous” because it sounded lighthearted and funny, and it was shot entirely in Milwaukee. I was so disappointed.
“Serial Daters Anonymous,” by Milwaukee filmmaker Christopher Carson Emmons, is about Claire (Louise Linton). Claire is a columnist, who finds out dirt on her soon-to-be-husband, Jared (Scotty Dickert), and ends up leaving him at the altar. Convinced that all men are terrible at relationships, Claire goes on a dating spree and writes about the men she sees on a blog called “Serial Daters Anonymous”. When a past lover, Kyle (Sam Page) comes back into her life, Claire must decide if what she assumes about all men is valid, or if she could really love again.
I didn’t have huge expectations coming into this film. I figured I’d be watching another shallow “rom-com” that would give me a few laughs and leave me as empty as I was when I arrived. Not only were my expectations met, they were exemplified. Linton’s character was unlikable and unconvincing. I could never really tell what her intentions were, but that could be because the script was less than average. The dialogue and scenes are stretched out to the point that the audience is unable to tell what the actual point of the scene was. Each date Claire is on seems like it will never end.
On top of that, the acting is poor and unconvincing. Linton’s performance is so weak and dispassionate, that there is very little room to root for her as a protagonist. She doesn’t deliver. Then again, there is no room for her to create depth for her role when the script is so weak. Claire’s character assumes that the reason that relationships don’t work out in most cases is because of the men, never the women. She sexualizes herself purposely and wonders why men are attracted to her looks rather than her despicable personality.
The plot all leads up to the most G-rated hostage scene I have ever seen. It is shot so calmly that there is no way that one could feel nervous about the situation. It could be completely omitted, and the story wouldn’t be affected. It would still suck.
I really wanted to enjoy this movie. Being made by a Milwaukee film maker and being shot in Milwaukee, I really expected to have a good time. I didn’t.
I don’t recommend seeing this film.