Space Force has an absolutely outrageous budget, seeking over $15 billion per year, but you only need a fraction of that monetary wealth to get your own Boots on the Moooo’n and up your mental wealth.
Like my feelings at the announcement of Space Force, I was highly skeptical whether or not Ben & Jerry’s could come up with something better than their current offerings. Can you really beat Americone Dream and The Tonight Dough for taste or how funny the name is, or both?
The first time I bought a pint of this seemingly basic concoction of milk chocolate ice cream, fudge cows that wouldn’t be out of place in a Lego set, chunks of toffee and a fat glob of sugar cooke dough in the middle I had to get a pair of my tried and true favorites. After all, this cross examination needed to be a thorough and scientific analysis. NASA probably didn’t get the moon by just winging it and faking the most important part, so why should I do the same when I test out their dairy products?
But how could such a basic mixture of basic ingredients make such a great ice cream flavor? Cookie dough, fudge and chocolate ice cream aren’t new. Forming the fudge into small cows doesn’t make the fudge taste any more like they look. What is it exactly?
It’s the sweetness. This whole thing is extremely sweet. The toffee combined with the sugar cookie dough center on the less methodical spoonfuls give the feeling of instantaneous cavities. But I still have all of my teeth and I have eaten a few thousand pints of Ben & Jerry’s in my lifetime, so I’m confident it’s all just mouth feel.
Yeah, I ate three pints of Ben & Jerry’s in one day, yes the scientific method proved Boots on the Moooo’n is my favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor right now and no I didn’t get sick from consuming that much dairy because I was born and raised in the dairy state.
My biggest gripe with Boots on the Moooo’n is actually those fudge cows.
Why are they cows? Are people meticulously picking the fudge pieces out of their ice cream and then building a scale-model of Wisconsin dairy farms using miniature fudge cattle? Obviously this is the only audience Ben & Jerry’s could have plausibly targeted when they decided to make them into cows instead of just leaving them as chunks.
To be honest, I didn’t realize they were cows until I read the description. Cows also don’t wear boots.